26 February 2019: Suicide prevention

I had an experience with someone I know that I want to share. I’ll call this person “Pat” and use male pronouns. I have changed many details to protect Pat’s privacy. My take home points are: (1) make sure you know the physical address of people you care about, particularly if they are having significant problems, (2) if you are worried about someone and cannot physically visit them, call the local police to have them check. That is why you need the physical address. The police may not be excited about trying to track someone down from their cell phone number. Pat had been declining for years due to losing a job, relationship issues and health problems. Some time ago, he called me to tell me that “this was the end”, and he was going to harm himself. He had the number of a suicide center but would not call. I had no idea what to do – I didn’t know any of his friends or family who might help. I wondered if he had any other close friends. His significant other appeared to have left him. A physician friend of mine suggested I call the local police, but I didn’t know exactly where he lived. I made my best guess, and spent a fair amount of time getting transferred around and explaining what I knew, which was not that much. Since I was not sure this police department was going to do anything, I called Pat again, and surprisingly he gave me his address. I called the correct police department, who was at his place in 2 minutes. The police asked some questions, and ultimately took Pat to a hospital with a psychiatric department. Within a day, Pat was released home and to the significant other, who was now back in Pat’s life to some extent. I have called Pat several times since. He was mad at me at first. Didn’t I know he wasn’t serious? But eventually he “forgave” me for calling the police. I actually thought it would be much worse. There is no great ending. Pat is not suicidal, but still seems pretty miserable. His significant other is back, at least for now. I am a little more grateful for my life, which seems pretty good in comparison. I also feel a stronger obligation to help those whose life is not so good.